Chapter IV

Jess: Now, the next section. We should know other things. It is time to make questions and say the truth. One question at a time. You can start.

Chan: First question. Have you ever had a lesbian relationship?

Jess: No. Never. Nothing at all.

Chan: Really? Because I’ve heard that girls in countries like USA and Canada start “exploring their bodies” between girls.

Jess: Yes. I heard girls saying that they would feel ashamed if they don’t know how to kiss so girls practice kissing with their best friend before kissing a boy. But I never did that. Now, my question: Are you gay?

Chan: No, I am not.

Jess: People use to say that you are…

Chan: Just because I take care of myself and I don’t flirt with every girl I meet doesn’t mean that I am gay. I like girls. I’ve had girlfriends but I kept all my relationships as a secret. Only my brother knows about it.

Jess: Not even drunk? Because you know… every man turns gay after 3 beers…

Chan: Hahaha. No I don’t do that.

Jess: I just say it because you look too focused on “a good mother for your children”. If you are gay and want to have family… and that’s the purpose of this conversation… You can say it to me. We can freely talk about it. Believe me, it is much better if you say it clearly.

Chan: No. It is not the situation. I am not gay. Ok, my question: Have you ever used drugs? Do you drink? Smoke?

Jess: No, no, and no. I’ve never used drugs. I don’t drink. I’ve never been drunk and I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life. It is weird that you ask me that. I think people would know that without even asking me.

Chan: I just wanted to make sure. Sometimes you see very pretty girls, who look like princesses but once they are alone at home they smoke even the curtains. I am worried they could do it while being pregnant or something…

Jess: Hahaha. Do you have children? Have you had a child? A child legally recognized or not… a child needing a mother. Feel free to say it. Also, you know what I think about adoption.

Chan: No. As far as I know. I would never deny a child. It doesn’t matter how much it affects me. It is weird that you ask me such thing. Do you really think that I would abandon a child? Under my situation? I thought you would ask me about drugs too.

Jess: The way you talk about drugs makes me clear that you don’t use them. But what about alcohol? How much do you drink? When? Who invites you to drink? Under which circumstances do you drink?

Chan: You know that I come from a big family. There are always parties. There are things like weddings, Christmas, graduations. Hahaha we live on such beautiful country. We go to church to baptize the boy, to get married, we go there every Sunday and ask for god’s blessing and immediately we run to drink and waste ourselves.

Jess: It wasn’t a very clear answer. I feel you are getting off topic.

Chan: Basically at parties, with family members like my brother or cousins. I don’t get drunk. But also, you need to understand that there are situations that I can’t avoid. I can’t be absent to those parties. Somehow I am forced to go, they will invite me something to drink, I have to meet certain people, I have to stay there for a certain time. It is something that I can’t change. You know how family parties are. It is something that I will keep doing. I have to. Anyway as a show of respect, you will never see me drunk. I promise this to you. I will never allow that image on your mind. The only image I want you to have about me is the elegant lawyer at his office with an elegant suit and a suitcase full of money. I want you that you will always feel proud of me, I won’t do anything that will make you feel ashamed or that people make use to hurt you. It is very painful. I know it because I already know how it feels when they call you and say “Hey, your girlfriend is drunk and vomiting in the middle of the party, go get her”.

Jess: Hahaha. I still need to decide. It is nice the “you will never see me drunk”, but at the same time, how can I know if you are drinking more if I don’t see you?

Chan: You don’t have to worry about it. I just think that it would be disgusting for you if I try to kiss you smelling to alcohol. It is disgusting to girls. I’ve heard girls complaining about it. I don’t want to be disgusting to you, never.

Jess: I have never kissed a guy with “the dragon’s breath”.

Chan: Anyway, I go to those parties and enjoy the time with my cousins, but once we get married, I will go with you and our children and things will be much different.  Hmmm, my turn… Ok. This looks like a good question. Have you ever been pregnant? Like having a baby, maybe given in adoption, or an abortion… maybe the baby is living with the father…

Jess: Never. The same way you say that you would never abandon or deny a child… if I get pregnant at a bad moment, abortion is not my first option. I don’t judge girls who abort but it is not my first option. Getting married isn’t the first option either. Next question. Do you have any hereditary disease that a baby could get?

Chan: There is a tendency to diabetes in my family. I don’t have it, but some members do. I don’t know about anything else.

Jess: I want to ask about the sex partners you have had. And I want to make this clear. I don’t judge about good morals. Basically it is because I take care of myself, of my body and I don’t want to get any ugly illness due to sexual transmission.  I mean, I take care of myself so much and I don’t want to suddenly realize that I got sick because you didn’t take care of yourself, because you had casual sex, unprotected sex or you visited prostitutes. The main cause of death in women is because of cervical cancer, the main reason why women get that cancer is because of the papilloma virus. The virus is transmitted through sex and men don’t notice it. It has no effects on men, but it kills women. ¼ of women who got this cancer were virgin when they got married and they got it because their husbands cheated on them and most of these women who died had little children that suffered a lot. It is not about morals or being emotionally hurt… it is survival… and maybe you were careful but if your girlfriend was cheating on you with any kind of guy…

Chan: Hahaha relax. I never had sex with her. Actually I haven’t had sex. I am aware of that too and that’s why I am looking for a girl like you. How do you think I felt? Even if we didn’t have sex.. The girl I kissed already kissed someone else the same day and I don’t want other dude’s saliva. I don’t want that every dude I meet looks at me and thinks “I know the way his girlfriend has sex” or “I already had sex with her”. Am I starting to sound sexist?

Jess: It is a tiny line… And it is hard to believe that you haven’t had sex. Just look at you. You have a great body and it is hard to believe that you don’t use it.



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