Chan: I have planned a talk where we will make all those points clear. We will both have time to prepare our arguments. So, let’s make an appointment to talk. First of all, I want to make clear that I am keeping a copy of this conversation in case we need to check this agreement in the future.
Jess: Agreed. Hahaha you are totally a lawyer. And I am doing the same.
We planned to make 3 different “sessions”. The first session would be about the rules, the second session would be about our weak points, what we should work on fixing and what we should take care of. How we would avoid hurting each other. The third session would be the future plans together, without changing our life plan we already had.
We agreed to talk at night, so we are totally focused on the talk. During the “session” we would not answer phones, won’t talk to somebody else, and there was no time limit. We would talk as much as we needed. Everything would be confidential and we would be completely honest. We agreed to put our effort to make it work.
At the end it wasn’t as organized as we planned, but we just talked very honestly to each other.
Chan: We are hurt at certain points. So we have to promise to be specifically careful about it. I mean, we don’t want to be hurt the same way twice.
Jess: So we must talk about our fears. Something like “I am afraid of…” or “I would feel really hurt if you do this…” or “The worst thing you would do to me is…”. The first step is not being afraid of telling our fears.
Chan: I think we have to go even farer. We don’t really know what happened in our last relationship, so we don’t know how we got hurt. I think the first step is to say everything. Tell me your story and I will tell you mine. So we can clearly say what our fragile points are and where to be careful.
Jess: It is a very long story. Nobody knows it. I’ve been very careful about hiding the real story. You would be the only person to know it. If you tell somebody I will know it. I will know that it was you and I will make you pay. So, this is my promise. I promise not to hurt you, unless you abuse of my trust.
Chan: Agreed. The same way I will trust that you won’t say what exactly happened to me. Well, in my case there are things that people already know, like the fact that she cheated on me, that we planned to get married and broke our engagement. So, basically, my request is that I will tell you what she did, expecting that you won’t do what she did to me. The same way, I want to promise you that I won’t do to you what your ex-boyfriend did to you. Anyway I still need to hear the story. After you tell me everything, I will reiterate this promise.
Jess: Well. I will start telling you my story.