The customer is always right

Once Dante asked me: “Why did you close the comments on your blog? Aren’t you strong enough to face criticism?” and I said: “Because I can’t handle people’s stupid questions” and he didn’t believe me. I told him that I am too antisocial for that and I avoid any contact with other humans but he couldn’t understand it. He tells me all the time that I don’t go out enough, just to work or to only if it is necessary… and at the same time I don’t even reply to people’s comments on internet…

I don’t talk a lot, and maybe that’s why people don’t know what’s going on in my mind when I am just quiet. So I will explain what happens…

I am not good at customer service…. I try to reply to the comments on my blogs but I just can’t do it anymore. There is always a point where I say “Enough! I need to get out of here! I can’t handle one more comment”.

My mom and I love to cook and my grandmother was one of the best cooks in the world. The 3 of us, had a little treasure that was a book with grandma’s recipes, but with all the traveling and moving from one house to another, we felt that the book was on a high risk. So we thought it would be better to make an online blog where we can find the recipes everywhere. Then we were adding new recipes and at some point we made the blog public.

Cooks usually tend to hide their recipes and work very hard to keep their “secrets” safe, but that way too many good recipes got lost in the time. My grandma had some secret recipes that even my mom didn’t know and when my grandmother died those recipes were lost.

So my mom and I decided that we don’t want that. We truly wanted to share all that information that would be useful for other people. And with all our effort and best heart, published the recipes and replied to the comments….

… For about a week… Then we gave up…. My mom was the first one to give up.

Recipes are very clear. We explained everything step by step, then why do people change the recipes? And then they blame you because their recipe was a fail.

Those are a few examples:

Me: Ingredients for the cookies: Powdered cinnamon…

Comment: I didn’t have cinnamon powder so I used the normal cinnamon. Then I mixed everything with the blender and my cookies are a fail. Your recipe is a fail. You bite the cookies and there are little pieces of cinnamon!!!”.

Me: (That’s why you use powdered cinnamon!!!)

Me: This is a recipe to make green rice….

Comment: Hi. I don’t have rice, may I use lentils?

Me: This beverage is made in Mexico with rice and cinnamon, but you can find in in Central America with several seeds like peanut, almond, sesame etc…

Comment: Your recipe is wrong. It must be done with rice and cinnamon, nothing else.

Me: The Mexican one is made with rice, but in Central American is made with other seeds. There are just different versions of the same beverage.

Comment: I saw the pictures. It looks disgusting!!! The taste must be awful. What a fail of recipe.

Me: Recipe of bread. In Mexico it is made with raisins, but in the Middle East it is also made with all kinds of dried fruit, pistachios and much sweeter…

Comment: Why do you change the recipe? It shouldn’t have dried fruit… just raisins. All that fruit will ruin the bread. What if we are just looking for simple bread that will fit everybody’s taste? Something easy to make with the ingredients we already have at home.

Me: The next recipe is for very simple bread. It only has a little bit of vanilla and icing…

Comment: Your bread is too simple… it needs something else… like… a little bit of fruit to make it sweeter….

Me: This cake is delicious. It has chocolate inside and outside and…

Comment: It is great if you want to get fat. What if we want healthier bread?

Me: I have a recipe of bread made with oat…

Comment: Ewwwww. Those are disgusting. At least add some chocolate chips…

Comment: Hi. I saw a recipe but it doesn’t says what kind of meat do you use? You posted the recipe yesterday but it doesn’t say clearly.
Me: I posted 3 recipes yesterday. What was the name of the dish?
Comment: Chicken with green salsa.
Me: Hmmm I guess it is made with chicken…
Comment: ohhh… yes the ingredients say something about chicken…..

….

What else do you want from me?!?!?!?!

And then there are the comments that just hurt your eyes:

Comment: I ddNt nstarnd Ur risipeh bkoz eet nEedz +++ dtailz && i need foR todai nOttomoRow😀 Gud JoB !!

Translation: I didn’t understand your recipe because it needs more details and I need it for today, not for tomorrow. Good job.

I gave up. I am not answering comments anymore.

But I love to write so I kept writing on my personal blog.

I wrote about the adoption system in Mexico.

I wrote this:

“I do not work at any institution of adoption (public or private). I just gathered all the information available and organized it here and try to keep it up-to-date”

“The adoption system is very strict and must be done very carefully because a little mistake may cause a rejection of your application.”

“To avoid human trafficking, and other problems, the baby must go to the hospital first to be checked, then to the orphanage; to check his legal status and make a file, then will be checked by psychologists to analyze who will be the best family for the baby. A specific person can’t know who their baby will be before the adoption. A specific person cannot choose the child they want or like the most. The person who wants to adopt must love the child without paying attention to the sex, race or physical appearance of the baby, that’s why people can’t chose the baby. Also, biological parents can’t choose to give their babies to a specific person or family. It is not legal. I may cause too much trouble later.”

“Please follow the instructions. This is a very delicate topic that involves the children’s life and a very delicate area of the law, so please do it very carefully for the best of the babies”

And I received a bunch of these comments:

“I am pregnant. I need to give my baby away but I have to check the family first. Please contact me. We can talk and I will choose the best family”.

“Hi, we are a good couple with lots of love, but can’t have children. Please contact us. We want to adopt a baby, preferably blond”.

“I forgot to add some of my documents and now the application was rejected. Do I have to apply again? How many tries do I have?”

“Hi. I don’t meet all the requirements and my application wasn’t received but I really, really want to adopt a baby. Please add my email and we can talk. I can tell you my story and you may take this as a special situation. Please accept my application. I have no money or house but I have lots of love to give”.

Comment1: We are a very good family to adopt your baby. We are religious people with high values, we have good jobs with high salaries, a nice house, a good car and we have been trying to have a baby for 8 years. We are sure about what we want and we have everything ready to receive a baby in the best conditions.. Please give your baby to us.
Comment2: Hi. We are a nice family, but our application was rejected because we don’t own a house… We are not bad people, we have a pretty cat ^^
Comment3: We are a very stable couple, we have 6 months together ^^

Then I received personal comments saying: “Hi. In your post is a comment of a girl who wants to give her baby in adoption. I sent a message to her and she said that if we pay for the hospital she will give me her baby, but then I realized that she said the same to several people. Now I am afraid that it would be a scam. You tell me. Should I give my money to her or not? You have to tell me if it is a scam or not… she wrote a comment in your post.

I better closed the comments and decided to write about something else.

Then, while working on the apartments I realized that there is a huge amount of people between 18 and 25 years who don’t feel comfortable at home and want to move out but they don’t know how to do it… they leave their homes without a plan and then they face too many obstacles or their plan fails and they have to move back home. So I wrote about all the problems they face, hoping to help people to make a better plan before moving out their parent’s house.

It says things like “Don’t leave your house after a quarrel while being angry, at night without any preparation. Make a plan with enough time, save money, look for a job, and look for an apartment. Before leaving your parents’ house make sure that you can survive alone, that you can get a job with a salary enough to pay a rent and your other expenses.”

“If you are still studying, make sure that you have enough savings to pay your school. It would be a pity to drop school due to economic problems or because you need to work too much time and you have no time left to study properly”.

Then the comments are like:

“LOL I don’t have the habit of saving money. Do you think it would be a problem? I like to make parties for other people. Last month I spent my school’s money on candies LOL but I think I am ready to move out and I will never have to clean my room again Mwahahahaha”

“I am in the middle of that dilemma. Should I leave or not? LOL”

“I am thinking.. before moving out and getting an apartment… Should I do my military service or not?”

*sighs*

Then Dante told me “Stop trying to fix the world. You live trying to fix things that are just too big for you to do it alone. Even whole governments can’t fix those things.. don’t think that you can do it”.

Ok, I gave up on that and focused on my job. I used to work at an office. I was in a special section with other 2 girls older than me for about 6 and 10 years. It was a relatively easy job. In my opinion it was tedious but easy.

There are big companies with lots of employees, like hotels, supermarkets and construction companies. We had to go the companies and ask for the information of each employee. The information was organized and sent to the taxes office, to the social security office, to the retirement office and so on. Every week we had to check how many hours/shifts every employee worked and calculate their salary, together with any bonus or discount.

One day a client calls, she is really angry and says: “Hey you! How irresponsible! You didn’t do the salary payments and my employees are angry! I will break our contract!”

Me: We have no order to pay the salaries this week. We did not receive the money and the list of working hours to make the calculations.

Client: Also you didn’t send my worker’s applications for social security. Are they working without insurance? You may get me into so many troubles! How long will it take for you to fulfill the legal process?

Me: *after checking everything* We never received the documents of your workers to start the process. We are still waiting for you to submit all the documents.

Client: I sent the documents 2 weeks ago.

Me: We never received the documents. Do you have the paper with the confirmation? When we receive documents we give you a stamped paper saying which documents we received.

Client: I have none.

Me: Did you send the documents?

Client: Of course I did! I submitted them personally! 2 weeks ago, during my lunch time, I took the documents, put them on my car and…. Oh my.. I left them on my car… Sorry I will submit the documents today.

One day our boss arrived and said “There are too much old files in this office. We need to put all those papers in boxes and I will call a male employee to take those boxes to the storage.”

Then we received boxes and adhesive tape. It was a common task on my mom’s job, so I remember seeing her doing it since I was very young. I put the papers on the box. Then I cover them with a paper sheet. I close the box properly with tape and put a label saying “Receipts from XXX Company, January-February year XXX”

And I was done in a couple of minutes. I looked at one of my coworkers and she did exactly the same, without any of us saying the procedure. Then we looked at the third one and saw a pyramid of crumpled paper inside the box… the girl trying to close it because it was too full in the middle and too empty on the borders… she couldn’t close the box so instead of putting a lid on the box, she just covered it with tape.

At the moment we say her putting the tape all over the documents we both yelled NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

messy-paperwork

But it was too late. She looked at us clueless…

My coworker took a deep breath and asked the girl: “What is on this box?”

Girl: The receipts.

Coworker: Which ones?

Girl: Oh… I don’t know…

Coworker: So, if we need to go back to those receipts for a legal proceeding… how would we find the receipts?

Girl: Ohhhhh right. I will take them out of the box and start again.

Coworker: But you already closed it and the tape is over the documents… How will you open it?

She was saying that when the girl grabbed a cutter and cut the tape and 2 centimeters of documents deep…

And we yelled again NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

That girl really had the ability to drive me crazy, but it helped me a lot to understand what happens to people.

Sometimes we had to go to the client’s office to pick up documents or to talk more properly face to face. Usually I did it alone, but we couldn’t trust her alone, so we went together to visit her clients… and at the end I did my job and her job… but she earned more money than me… The difference was that we had 2 bosses… I was hired by a female boss with a military system and the girl was hired by a male flirty boss who only looked for a pretty girl that like to go out to drink with him…

Anyway…

The girl was addicted to her phone. She used to talk on the phone the whole day… Even while we were walking on the street.

If I had to visit a client alone I could do it really fast and easy, but going out with her was…. *sighs*

We had a mission: We had to go with a very picky client in a nearby city. That client had a bunch of workers in charge of traveling to the surrounding cities selling something…. Like those people on the infomercials. We have to check how much they sold and calculate what their payment would be. They had to sign the order saying they agreed with the amount. It would be hard because every seller would complain about the % of earnings.

As far as it was a picky client, our boss asked us to be very professional, to dress formally and do everything without a mistake.

I was waiting for her at the meeting point, and then we needed to take a bus that would go to the other city. We agreed to meet at 10 am at the station, to be at the client’s office at 11 am. It was 10:30 and she wasn’t there. I would leave without her but our boss had the great idea of giving her the documents we needed. So I couldn’t leave without her.

I arrived with a black suit… She arrived, late with a black denim jacket and golden super high heels.

Me: We are supposed to wear formal clothes.

Girl: I know, that’s why I am wearing black.  Let’s go for a breakfast.

Me: It’s already late.

Girl: Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t eat now. I went clubbing last night and I didn’t arrive home. These are yesterday’s clothes LOL. Do I smell like alcohol? Because I drank a lot and I think I spilled it over my jacket. .

Me. *facepalms*

After walking 2 blocks she was complaining about being tired and her feet hurt.

I felt like her bodyguard or something. A few blocks from our office, there was a very fast freeway. We had to cross it by a bridge… but she was on her phone so she didn’t notice she was about to walk over the freeway and I had to grab her arm to stop her. At that moment a trailer passed really close to us. Then she just turned back and kept walking. I decided to keep her close to me, so I was almost hugging her while walking…

Her eyes were all the time on her phone and wearing high heels on the crazy streets of my city is a real suicide. Her high heels got stuck on potholes or sewage covers. She twisted her ankles a couple of times and almost fell every 5 minutes, that’s why I kept grabbing her arms.

Then we arrived to the office, late…. I was never late, but that day, we were late…

We got a desk and I was organizing some documents that the workers needed to sign. I had the documents organized by name, alphabetically for an easy search. Then the workers arrived and I greeted them. When I turned back to the desk there was this image:

The girl pushed some of the papers to one side of the desk and put her laptop over the rest of the documents… and was complaining because there was no wifi. Then she stood up and said “I will go ask for the wifi password” and went to the main office.

I knew it would get us in troubles, but I didn’t have time for that. The workers were already there and their boss (our picky client) was walking around saying “Don’t make the workers to waste their time. They have to go back to work”

My papers were not organized anymore, but I still could make it fast.

Then the girl came back saying “Hey! outside is a woman selling food. Look!!”

She was eating a grassy taco with red sauce and sat on the desk just eating. When I looked at her… She was trying to touch the documents with her dirty hands. She wanted to eat and work at the same time.

And I yelled again NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Then I grabbed a chair to one corner and said: You sit here and leave everything to me, ok? Don’t touch anything, and the most important, you and your taco, stay away from the documents… ok?

Imagine this situation:

The girl is “working” on that corner. She grabs her phone, dials a number, and while she waits, she stares vacantly at nowhere… for a couple of minutes… then she suddenly comes back to this world and says “Oh, what was I doing?”

Me: You said you were calling your mother.

Girl: Oh Yeah! *checks phone* Oh she hung up the phone. I will call again.

I liked that job, but it is very hard when you have to spend the whole day with a person like that… day after day…

The girl was a daughter of a rich man and was now married to a rich man, so she had enough money. I never understood why she was working. She didn’t need to work, so she didn’t care about getting fired.

When I was like 18 years old, I had a part-time job… I really liked it too. It was an optometrist’s office. He had a store with glasses and contact lenses… some of them were from very expensive brands.

The job was nice but also tedious. There were display windows made of glass, with glasses and sunglasses… and every day we had to clean everything… we had to take out every pair of glasses, clean them and put them back.

optica01

We were also 3 workers. Me, another girl who was 23 years old and a 33 years old woman.

The 23 years old girl was there to pay for her university, because she was from a big family with several brothers and sisters and her parents couldn’t pay the school for everybody. She was very mature and I admired her attitude.

The older woman was a single mom of 2 children, living with her mother.

It was a part time job, so the salary wasn’t enough to support a whole family. I never understood why she was on that job instead of a full-time job.

On my first day, while cleaning the shelves and the glasses… the older woman took a pair of the most expensive branded sunglasses… she put them on and spent several minutes in front of the mirror.

Woman: I love those sunglasses. I will tell the doctor if I can buy them. But I don’t have the money. I will tell the doctor to get the sunglasses’ money out of my salary.

Me: *Looks at the price* Wow, it is 2 months of salary.

Woman: I know… but I really love those sunglasses. I don’t care. I MUST have those sunglasses…. I look like people on television!!! Aww I just received my bills to pay… maybe next week… or maybe I can ask the doctor for a loan….

Then I realized that this 33 years old woman was the only support in her family… she had a part-time job that means half salary… with 2 children at elementary school, her mother was old but she still cooked, cleaned the house and took care of the children…. And there was that woman… looking at her on the mirror, spending 2 month of salary on sunglasses that she doesn’t need, or may never wear…

I was like “Woman, you are twice my age and I can see your immaturity”.

Then I moved to my actual job. It is very interesting. There are people with apartments but can’t take care of them. I post the ads on internet, people call me or send me a message and I show them the apartment while answering all their questions. Easy, right?

OK, we have to be patient when talking to clients. I understand that. I can even bear with the “The customer is always right” thing, but there are sometimes that I just can’t… I just need to take a deep breath before I keep talking to the client.

A good client calls and says: “Hi, I am interested in making an appointment to see the apartment tomorrow at 2 pm. I just want to check 2 of your apartments and the area where they are located”.

The client arrives a little earlier, walks around the neighborhood to check it and then sees the apartment. He makes some questions like “is there a good system of public transportation?” or “How long will it take me to go from this area to the downtown?” or “May I check if there are problems any mould/mildew problems?”

Then the client says: “I checked everything. I will check a few more apartments and if I chose this one I will call you tomorrow”

Or they even say: “I like it. I take it. Let’s make a deal right now and I will move in tomorrow”.

When things are that smooth I feel happy and I can even give them things, like free days or I let them to choose the curtains, or a discount on any extra service…

But those clients are probably one in a million.

The average clients are like that:

Client: Hello. I am calling because I see you have an apartment on Main Street with a price of $700 a month…. I want to check it, and we may talk and make a special deal… to get a better price… because… let’s be honest… apartments are never as pretty as they look on the pictures. So I will understand any “hidden” problem in an exchange of a discount….

Me: Prices don’t change. (I know I can make the discount, but it just annoys me when they act like that even before seeing the apartment).

Client: Well… I still want to check the apartment. So.. it is on Main street, right?

Me: Yes.

Client: How many blocks is it away from the subway station?

Me: Subway? There is no subway on this city.

Client: There is subway in Mexico City.

Me: You are calling to ____ City. Not Mexico city.

Client: Then why did you publish it as an apartment in Mexico City? Oh I see… the streets have similar names… Ahhh  I feel so annoyed!! I had great expectations about it. Now I understand why the apartment looked so cheap. Anyway, thanks for your time. Bye.

So… he knew it was cheap!! And he was trying to get it cheaper!! Then I checked the subway station he was looking for and it was in Mexico City’s downtown. It was the best area of the whole city. There were hospitals, universities and several subway stations, it was beside the area where the richest people in Mexico live… and he was trying to get it cheaper!! You may imagine that there is a huge difference in the prices of my small, simple apartment in a small city, compared to the price of an apartment in a very good area of the capital…

At some point I was receiving like 4 or 5 calls/mails like this per day. So every time I received a call for that apartment I was like and answering machine: “Hello, you are calling for information about the apartment located in ___ City”.

It saved me a lot of time.

Then there are the ones that can deplete all my patience in 5 minutes.

Client: Hello. I called because I have some questions.

Me: I will happily answer. What are your questions?

Client: ….

Me:?

Client: Ummmm….

Me: …

Client: I don’t know what to ask…can I just see all your apartments?

Me: I have all kind of apartments. Let’s find the best for you. Do you want a furnished or unfurnished apartment?

Client: …

Me: …

Client: I don’t know…

Me: Do you have furniture?

Client: I don’t know… let me ask my mom…

Me: Are you coming as student?

Client: Yes. I am studying as civil engineer… I will make bridges ^^

Me: (God bless us..) *cough* So… You may need an apartment for students. There are 3 kinds of apartments. 1.- shared apartment where you only lease a room in a family’s house or share the apartment with other students. 2.- a medium size, furnished apartment close to your university, with laundry, cleaning and food service, price per person… or 3.- A small, furnished, cheap apartment without any service, where you have to do your laundry, cleaning and find food by yourself. What do you want? What do you need? What is your price range?

Client: I don’t want to share apartment. I don’t know how to cook or clean. I want one with those services included.

Me: Ok. I have these options. Blahblahblah.

Client: What is the price for this one?

Me: $1,000

Client: Great! With that price… I can share the apartment with my friends… If we are 3 friends we only have to pay $300 each ^^

Me: Price is by person. You have to pay $1,000 per person. Prices are calculated based on the food and cleaning expenses.

Client: But we can share the apartment. I have an extra bed and my friend can cook… she also has a bed… a tv… a couple of sofas… is the apartment big enough? Because we have lots of stuff…

Me: Then you need an unfurnished room.

Client: Ohhhhh…. You are right… LOL

Me: OK.. let’s start again.…

Then there is the client known as “I pay zero attention to the contract”.

Me: This apartment is great. It has a very good illumination and everything is completely white. This is a furnished apartment, completely new. As you can see, the furniture even has plastic cover protections and the mattress is still on its box. Everything is completely new and you would be the first person using the apartment. The only requirements are: No children, no pets, no parties.

Client: Yes I take it. May I see the balcony? Ohhh the balcony is beautiful, my dog will enjoy the time here.

Me: Sorry no pets allowed.

Client: It is a small dog.

Me: Sorry, but no pets allowed.

Client: But it is small.

Me: Those are the rules of the building. Sorry.

Client: But… I can’t get rid of my dog. My dog is family and I love that dog… My children would never forgive me if I get rid of the dog.

Me: No children allowed.

Client: The apartment is big enough for a family.

Me: Yes but the owner was very clear about it. It is a completely new apartment and they want tenants that make the less damage possible… Everything is white and clean and they want to keep it like that. It is a great opportunity but the landlords are very severe…

Client: I know, some people are like that. My last landlord got really mad just because the dog urinated on the mattress. I could never take off the pee stains of the mattress and they asked me to leave LOL…

Then there are people who are completely clueless and lost and I just ask myself “How do they survive on this harsh world?”

Me: This is a one-piece apartment. Small, comfortable, cheap with everything you may need. All of the tenants are students of the close university, but we keep a quiet environment. No parties allowed.

Client: There is no problem I don’t make parties.

Me: Great ^^. This apartment is a great opportunity. There are several buildings around with cheap apartments for students. Most of them are several bedrooms and share a bathroom and kitchen. This apartment has almost the same price but you have your own bathroom and kitchen.

Client: That’s great to have my own bathroom. That’s why I want to move out of my actual apartment. I hate to share the bathroom.

Me: This is the door to the bathroom, then we have the kitchen and then, in the same area, there is the bed and the closet.

Client: *opens the door to the bathroom and checks it* It is a nice bathroom, I am so tired; I’ve been walking the whole day. May I sit?

Me: Of course.

Client: *the girl lies on the bed* The bed is so comfortable. I just have a question… is the bathroom shared with anybody else?.

Me: No. The bathroom is only yours.

Client: ohhh… and where is it?

Me: The door in front of you… (The one that you just checked, where you left the lights on and the door open and you can see the shower from where you are sitting… )

Client: ohhhhh… I see… the bed is so comfortable… so… is the apartment furnished? Or do I have to bring my own furniture?

Me: It is furnished…. (???)

Client: Ohhhh… and.. what kind of furniture does it have?

Me: Ehm.. everything you can see here. (???)

Client: Ohhhhh…. And who shares the kitchen and the bathroom with me?

Me: Nobody… (!!!)

Client: But.. Why is the bed in the living room? Does it has another room? Where is the bedroom?

Me: There is not another room. The apartment is everything you can see here. This room, this bathroom, this kitchen.. that furniture… (!!!)

Client: Ohhhh… I thought that door was the door to the bedroom LOL

Me: That one is the entrance door… (We entered the apartment through that door!!)

Client: ohhhh… What is that other door? Is the door to the street?

Me: No. That’s the door to the balcony.

Client: So.. do I have to enter by the this door? I thought this one had a door directly to the street.

Me: No sorry… we are on a 3rd floor. (Remember? We came upstairs…) You have to use the stairs…. (Unless you are spiderman…)

Client: Ohhhhh… I see… Is there any laundry area?

Me: Yes. On the last floor is a laundry area.

Client: Awww😦 I need a laundry area. It is a pity that only the tenants on the last floor can use it.

Me: (What??? I didn’t say that) The laundry area is for the whole building. You are free to use it whenever you want.

Client: ohhh so it is shared with the other tenants… same as the bathroom right?

Me: (facepalms) No, the bathroom is not shared. This is your door, the door to get into your apartment. From this door, to this side, everything inside is yours and only yours. From this door, to outside, everything is shared by the tenants.

Client: Wait! Are you telling me that I don’t have to share the bathroom?

Me: *sighs* Yes, because it is inside your apartment.

Client: Ohhhhh…. That’s great ^^ I just need to see the bathroom, where is it?

Me: Exactly in front of you. (!!!!)

Client: That door?

Me: No… that’s the closet’s door. In front of you is the bathroom, at your right is the kitchen and at your left is the entrance door, at your back is the balcony.

Client: Wait… I don’t understand very clear how is the apartment organized.

Me: (Girl, it is an apartment if 3 square meters with no rooms, how can you not understand it? Did you miss Sesame Street teaching “Right, left, up, down, inside, outside, around…”?)

Girl: Well… I will think about it and check other apartments and I will call you later.

apartment

That afternoon the girl calls:

Client: Hi. I visited your apartment today but.. I can’t remember exactly how it was and now I can’t choose an apartment because I don’t remember what apartments I checked and which one I liked it. May we start again and visit all the apartments again?

….

Also there are the obsessed ones.

Client: I like the yellow apartment.

Me: It is not available right now, but I have a blue one. It is exactly the same. All the apartments have the same design.

Client: But I want the yellow one.

Me: Sorry, it is not available.

Client: Why?

Me: (??) Because there are people living there…

Client: May I see it? Just to compare both apartments and choose

Me: Sorry, I can’t show the apartment.

Client: Why?

Me: Because there are people living there. I can’t come into the apartment just like that. Think that you are a tenant. You wouldn’t like it, right?

Client: I just want to see it very fast.

Me: Sorry I can’t. But I can show you other apartments and you can choose….

Client: I want the yellow one. When will be the apartment empty? I still have a couple of weeks.

Me: Sorry they are not leaving.

Client: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Client: Ok. Then I will call you later… I don’t want to see another apartment. I want the yellow one.

*2 days later*

Client: Hi. I want the yellow apartment.

Me: It is not available sorry, but I have other apartments…

Client: Is it not empty yet? When will it be empty? So I can move in.

Me: Sorry there are tenants living there.

Client: Can you do me a favor? Please go to the apartment and ask the tenants when are they  leaving…

Me: (???) They didn’t give me a notice of leaving, so they will stay for a couple of months.

Client: You can’t know that. Please ask them.

Me: They are not leaving…

Client: Awww. Too bad, because I wanted that yellow apartment. Well thank you for your time. Bye.

*2 weeks later*

Client: Hi. Is the apartment available yet? I would move in a couple of days.

Me: No it is not available.

Client: Why?

Me: BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE LIVING THERE!!!!!!

*2 weeks later and after 5 more calls*

Client: Hi, I paid an extra month on my actual apartment to wait for your apartment to be free. Will it be available this month?

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Please don’t call me again or I will ask for a restraining order!!!)

And the situation is much easier when there is a single person looking for the apartment, because if there is a couple about to get married.. the situation may turn dangerous.

Coueple1:

Boy: We are looking for a furnished apartment with the option to take off the furniture little by little. We will buy our own furniture slowly. Let’s say, the first month we will buy a fridge, and the second one we will buy the laundry machine, the third one we will buy the stove and so on… So the main factor is to have that option.

Me: Sure… let me show you the…

Girl: The most important feature of the apartment is the parking slot.

Boy: It is just a motorcycle.

Girl: But we are buying a car.

Boy: We need to buy the furniture first.

Girl: It is more important the car.

Boy: The car will cost too much and we will need a bank loan. It is better to get it last.

Girl: It is the first thing we will buy.

Boy: We are not even keeping the motorcycle.

Girl: What!!?!?!?!

Boy: It is too annoying. If there is rain I get wet, if there is hot weather I have to bear the sun, and it is not comfortable as a couple. We are not teenagers anymore, we need a decent car, but I can’t buy it right now. If we sell the motorcycle, we can buy the fridge.

Girl: I won’t take a taxi. We need a car. And the apartment already has a fridge

Boy: The fridge is very important. How do you plan to cook with that small fridge? It is fine for a student, but not for a couple.

Girl: Cooking? !?! I am not cooking. We will go to eat at a restaurant every day and we need a car for that.

Boy: We can’t do that every day. We are not that rich… What about breakfast and dinner? We will sell the motorcycle and with that money we can buy the fridge and the laundry machine at the same time.

Girl: I am not doing laundry.

Boy: Do you have any idea of what marriage is?

Girl: Yes, marriage is when you listen to your wife. We need a bigger, furnished, apartment in the downtown and we will buy a car soon.

*The fight starts*

Couple 2:

Boy: We are looking for an apartment…

*The girl receives a call and leaves to the other room to talk*

Boy: We are getting married ^^ she is pregnant and we will start living together. I am so excited. I can imagine it. She will be there with our baby, I will go to work and we will have a pretty apartment… *Smiles with his eyes full of dreams*

*The girl comes back*

Boy: We need an apartment with 2 bedrooms, close to schools and parks.

Girl: What? We need to be close to our jobs. We need an apartment in the downtown.

Boy: You are pregnant; we have to start organizing our lives for the baby.

Girl: The school will be in years. We need to think about right now. This apartment is close to my job.

Boy: We need an apartment with enough space for the baby, a nice kitchen…

Girl: There is a cheap small apartment.

Boy: It is too small for the 3 of us. *receives a phone call and also leaves*

Girl: *pouts* Sorry, but he wants a house, but I don’t want to get married. As soon as the baby is born I will move to another city with my mom and dump that guy. That’s why I am looking for a cheap temporary apartment…  but shhhhh.

Me: O.O

*Boy comes back*

Boy: Sorry, I am back *hugs her* I love you soooo much!!!

Girl: Yeah… What is the cheapest apartment here?

Me: O.O !!!

After that, every day, when I come back home, and I close the door, I feel safe, I sigh and I say “Ohh I am back to my refuge. I don’t want to go out again”.

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