I will die a virgin (Part2)

Once I realized that I failed to have a decent social life in real life I received a very nice advice: “It is easier to talk to people on internet. Everybody gets more extroverted when they are not looking at other people’s faces. Try to talk to strangers on internet and practice to improve your social abilities”.

I was in a game online with my mom, (a friend invited her and I liked it and I joined it too). I made a squishy wizard and played by myself, without joining a faction until level 69. This game leads us to very weird conversations:

Me: Mom, can you help me with my Spiritual Cultivation? Please. I have done nothing since the cultivation at level 39. Now I need until the cultivation level 69. I also need all kind of bosses. We can make our cultivation together =D

Mom: I don’t need my cultivation. Erik has been helping me a lot. That day Erik helped us with the cultivation level 39 and since that time he has been helping me with everything, he helped me with dungeons, bosses, he taught me lots of things related to selling, to manufacture and buying and tricks. He even helped me to use the Auction House…. Didn’t he help you?

Me: No…. 2 days after doing the dungeon 39, he deleted me from his friend list. Time after, I tried to talk to him and he said “I am busy right now. I will help you later, next week or next month.. I don’t know when I will have time..” and he kept talking on WorldChat.

Mom: Try to talk to him again, maybe he will be on a better mood, you know he is a little bipolar.

Me: I tried and just got no reply…. Maybe I am even blocked.

A few days later, my mom was doing her quests and a Fish approached her and invited my mom to his faction. He said that his faction was really nice and very helpful. “There are people helping low levels all the time. They even help to get your gear”. But my mom was on her boyfriend’s faction and couldn’t leave it to join the new faction. My mom told me about it. I also needed gear. As soon as I saw the faction members inviting in the WorldChat I asked to join. They were asking for level 70+ and I was 69 but I needed so many bosses that after finishing all these quests I would be level 70 for sure.

I joined the faction and the leader said “There are a BladeMaster and a Cleric who will be in charge of helping you. Everything you need, ask them”. Then I asked for a boss called “Eyes of Crimson”. For some reason the cleric never arrived, and the BladeMaster was doing the bosses by himself. While going from one boss to another, we were talking:

BM: I was waiting for you to help you since the afternoon.

Me: I know, I thought I would have a free afternoon, but I got busy at work and didn’t come home until night.

BM: What is your job?

Me: Real State… It is a very nice job, I really liked it. It was a recommendation from a friend, he told me about all the benefits and I heard him and I am very happy.

BM: Yeah, it is a very nice job. Where are you from? Because you are not American, right?

Me: Mexico. And you?

BM: Arizona. It is a very nice place. I am so happy there. The city is beautiful and I really enjoy time here.

Me: Looks like Arizona is really great. I had a friend who always talked about how much he loved his bunch of sand… Hahaha. It is a dessert, just a bunch of sand….

BM: Hahaha, why are Mexicans like that? I had a friend who always said that to me. She always said “You live in a bunch of sand. There are only sand, snakes, tarantulas, lizards…” Anyway she was a very nice friend who I cherish a lot and I have very nice memories….. and… wait… wait.. wait.. WAIT!!! Where are you from?

Me: Mexico.

BM: Which part of Mexico?

Me: Veracruz.

BM: And where did you learn English?

Me: In Canada… Wait… WAIT!!! NO!!! WAIT!!!

BM: I am from Arizona…

*BM is offline and never saw him again*

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I didn’t go to the game for a few days so I looked for friends to chat in other social networks. I received an invite of a friend I knew in real life. He was my childhood friend, but then I moved to another school and then to another city, and then to another country and we lost touch for years. So suddenly, one day I met him on the streets, but we couldn’t talk properly, so he added me to his social networks.

We talked a couple of times. He told me about his job and his apartment and how great is to live by himself because he can do whatever he wants and enjoys freedom… he was even free of having ice cream as a breakfast. Then he was talking about his favorite food and desserts. I told him that my favorite dessert was cheesecake with raspberries.

Guy: Wrong answer LOL.

Me: Why? It is my favorite.

Guy: But it is made with raspberry jelly. The answer must be “Cheese cake with strawberries and whipped cream”. If you ask me about my favorite pie, I would say “with strawberries and whipped cream”.

Me: But I prefer raspberries… Why would I want strawberries?

Guy: Because you don’t know where the strawberries and whipped cream will end….

Me: What?

Guy: Let me show you… *turns on camera*

Then I saw my friend, that sweet friend from kindergarten, who I haven’t seen in years… on his bed… naked… and then the image of a pennis….

Then I ran away.

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So I decided to go back to the game with my non-existent social abilities.

One day I saw on WorldChat:

Guy: Why did I almost die while trying to talk to Mrs. Zoologist? How can I get my quest if every time I approach her, she tries to kill me?

Me: (On a pm) Because you are hurting her pets. If you attack any pet, she will want revenge. Just stop hurting her pets. Haha.

Guy: Who are you and why are you talking to me? Did I ask you?

Me: You asked on WorldChat…

Guy: I am so angry and tired of people trying to fool me. But I am not a fool! Stupid banks they just want to steal our money! But I am a mathematician, they can’t fool me. They fool stupid people, but not me!! You can’t fool me either!!! I AM a mathematician!!

Me: *slowly walks away*

Anyway, I thought he was going through a bad moment and ignored it.

So I talked to him again.

Me: I have a dog.

Guy: Ewww dogs… I like cats. I am a man of cats. Dogs have fleas.

Then there was no reply and he kept talking on WorldChat. I got into my own things. So much time later we talked again and for some reason we ended up with the same conversation of the cheesecake…

Guy: I can get you a cheesecake, but who will pay for it?

Me: What?

Guy: You have to pay for it.

Me: No way….

Guy: OK, half and half. I get the cheesecake and you get the strawberries….

Then I see WorldChat and the guy is drawing boobs ( . )( . ) and saying something about talking with boobs. Then people replied to him with some “seduction advices”. So I got angry and wanted to troll the guy…

Me: Ok. I will get the cheesecake, but first I have to make sure about something…

Guy: What?

Me: Get the camera…. Now.

Guy: What?

Me: Get the camera. I need to see you first.

Guy: I can’t. It is on my bedroom.

Me: Wrong answer. People will tell you “Go grab it”. So.. go grab it..

Guy: I won’t get the camera… why are you asking me that? Do you expect me to just turn on my camera?

Me: Of course, if I will pay for the cheesecake, at least turn on your camera.

Guy: *no reply* *no reply* *offline*

People on WorldChat: What happened? Is he still talking to the boobies? What? Is he offline? What did he do? Awwwww. That’s a fail.

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Once, “the Dragon” won something and I just sent a pm saying “Congratulations”.

Dragon: Why are you talking to me? Don’t ever contact me again. Ever!!! Go away!

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So I decided not to talk to people anymore. One day I was in the Realm Of Reflection. I was being teleported inside of RoR and I received a call, so I just randomly clicked at some point and went away. When I came back I was exactly in front of another person (a known person). I was like “Ohhh look that’s XXXXXX” and then a girl arrived and he moved and I panicked and logged off.

Days later I logged in back, and there was XXXXXX and then he saw me, and he ran away so crazily that he ran into a wall, then into the stairs, then into a monument, then he ran in circles, then he tried to jump over the balcony, then he got stuck again, then he logged off.

Days later I was in RoR when 3 girls, with known names, approached and stood in front of me, one by one. And they were standing, very close to my face, just looking at me… And one of them keeps doing it. Sometimes I go to different places of the World, I get AFK and when I come back, one of these girls is standing in front of me.

Time later, I was in RoR and a random girl was bothering me. This guy saw it and sent me a pm saying: “LOL this girl just needs a man. She wants a dick”. And then I felt like the next sentences would be: “Do you also need a dick?”

Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Seyfried, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert

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One day I got into the RoR and I miss clicked. Instead of going left I turned right and I thought I went to my spot, but actually I was at somebody else’s spot. I realized it when this person was beside of me coughing like saying “can you please move out of my place?”. I got so embarrassed and moved to my spot.

Days later I was on my spot of RoR when this same guy moved in front of me. My mount was smaller than his, so he stepped over me and covered me with his mount. Then I changed to a bigger mount. He changed to a bigger mount. Then I moved to a flying mount. Then he jumped to a wall beside us and looked taller. Then I got a really high mount and then I changed to my first mount while laughing. Then he came back in front of me and changed to a mount of the same size. He moved exactly in front of me, really, really close. Both characters were so close, face to face, like almost hugging, while mounts were moving weirdly.

Meanwhile he brought an alt and put it exactly in the same position in front of my alt. So there were the 4 characters moving weirdly one over another and then he said: “Oh Yeah, keep moving like that. Do you like how I am moving? Does it feel good?”

And I panicked and logged off.

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Once, I was at west gate, when somebody was doing some questions on WC. Let’s call him “The Guardain” Then we kept talking with me. He added me to his friend list and was very nice. I told him that if he needed help with bosses or something, I had a barb and a cleric. I told him to ask me for any help. He said “I really would appreciate that, I need help with high level quests”. We happily said bye. The next day I logged in and saw him online, but we didn’t talk, and the next day I saw him at the west gate and he looked offline on my friend list, so I realized that he deleted me.

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And I really would like to help, but every time there are situations like this:

Guy on WC: Please, can somebody help me with the boss Eyes of Crimson?

Me: I am very close to that place. I can help you, just let me bring my barb and I am a healer wizard.

Guy: No thank you. I will get help.

Me: But I am already at the place. It will be really fast.

Guy: I said no thank you. I will look for help somewhere else. BYE!

Me: O.O ok… Anyway.. Have a nice weekend…

Guy: LOL. My weekend is already gone. Here is already Monday.

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Once there was a guy, his name started with K, he also asked in the world chat:

K: I want to increase my bank. What can I do?

Me: You have to gather some mats.

K: Where can I find these mats?

Me: Check in the Auction House. There is a section that says Dragon Quest items and you will find everything together there.

K: What is Auction House?

Me: I will invite you to my squad and I will take you to the Auction House.

*We reached Auction House*

Me: Here is the Auction House. You can buy and sell all kind of things here… Did you find the Dragon Quest Items?

K: … *moves around the NPC*

*K goes from Auction to the bank to other NPC*

*K Keeps going from one place to another*

*I waited for an answer for 100 years*

*K keeps going from one place to another*

*I saw the little dot on my map moving around the entire world*

*I realized he wouldn’t talk to me again*

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So basically that’s the story of how I will die virgin and I must start gathering cats now.

 

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