RUMORS RUN WILD
I have been joking about the rumors around my dear boys. But let’s talk seriously about this. It looks like people can’t understand when somebody is a good person. They don’t believe it, or they don’t like it. This is more common when somebody is rich and famous and has success in his/her life. People really wants to hear that somebody has huge problems with alcohol and drugs, or his relationship is about to break up, or he is not as happy as he looks. Sometimes people are jealous and want to destroy other’s success. And they can really hurt people. A single hater can do much more than a bunch of fans. This is the real risk. When you let their hate to reach you and hurt you.
Everybody wants to be loved and admired. Nobody likes rumors, but they are part of our complex society. Everybody has been involved in ridiculous rumors. We may think “The more famous the person, the bigger the rumor”. Well, in Mexico we say “The smaller the town = bigger hell of rumors”. In a small town there just a few people, who know each other very well, everybody knows everybody. The rumors can last years. Nobody forgets those rumors. In a big city, people start a rumor about somebody, and then they move on a new rumor or a new topic.
As a viewer, we hear a rumor, and we judge. We decide to believe it or not. We decide to spread it or not. We decide to fight about it or ignore it. It depends on different points. First, the people involved in the rumor. Sometimes we don’t know all the people involved. Sometimes we just don’t care. Sometimes we care too much. The second point is the kind of the rumor. Some rumors are so ridiculous that they become funny. It depends on how easy is to believe the rumor. Is there any proof about the rumor? Who started it? Somebody close to the people involved? Is it logic? We see people involved, and even if we don’t know them very well, we have an idea of their personality.
This is an example: A singer and a fan had sex. The singer was sued by the fan. The fan said she was an innocent virgin girl, rapped by him. The singer went to jail for years saying he was innocent. He said they were at a party; they were drunk and had sex. The rest of the fans believed him. They even protested outside of the jail. People got angry at fans, thinking that they were protecting a bad man. Somehow, people found out that the “fan”, used to make porn videos. She had everything ready. Although he got free, he lost his money and his career was never the same again. Most of people believed the rumor, except his fans, because they know him very well.
Second example: When there is a very powerful man, known for being evil and a killer… And suddenly his wife dies. Even if he “proves” that it was an accident, people won’t believe him. Everybody believes that he killed his wife. That rumor doesn’t even need to be spread. People know it.
The worst thing about rumors is the effect on family member. If someone close to you believes it, it can be dangerous and painful.
A rumor can be like a snowball going downhill. It gets bigger and bigger. Sometimes trying to refute the rumor only gets the snowball bigger. Things get worse very easily. A little snowball can end being an avalanche.
As I said before, everybody has been involved in a ridiculous rumor. I have been involved in some ridiculous rumors, but there is one, a very special rumor (a huge, annoying, embarrassing rumor), which affected my whole family… the rumor never went away, so I gave up, and now I even make fun of it. In my own experience, the better solution I found was to make fun of it. But I had to pass for different stages before laughing about it.
Why am I doing this? I’ve been making fun about my dear boys and the rumors around them. So let’s get things even. A rumor from them, a rumor from me. And maybe we can learn from eachother.
First I tried to stop the rumor about me. When we found it, it was too late. The rumor spread like a virus.
The rumor is very simple: People believe that my father is not my real father. My real father is “a well-known politician, business man, a pundit… “ (Pundit? That word sounds weird O.o)
From now on, I will call him Mr. X.
Well, that rumor is not true. I know it, my mom knows it, and my dad knows it. But, how can you explain it to the rest of the world? Explaining why it is a lie is boring; The interesting fact is the side effect of the rumor.
Most of people who believe this rumor, doesn’t know my dad, they have seen pictures, but they haven’t meet him. Or maybe they don’t know Mr. X, only in pictures. Or maybe they don’t know the real story. So this is like a broken telephone where people make up their own stories.
People are divided in 3 different groups:
Group A: They think that I hate Mr.X, because he is a bad person. My mom hates him so much that she wanted to live far, far away from him. That’s why we lived in another country. He doesn’t want to admit that he is my father, so now I hate all men in the world.
Group B: We have been a happy secret family. After he got banned on television, we moved to a different country together and lived as rich people with him. Now he is back on tv shows and we had to move back to Mexico. We are a secret family, for our safety. His work is all about journalist reports where he talks about corrupt politicians and now he’s got several enemies. So we have to hide from them. He is the most wonderful dad and husband in the world. That explains why my mom never got married again. *whispers* actually, she was married, but it was a secret.
Group C: My mom got pregnant and never told him because he is a bad person. He didn’t know anything about me. That’s why I do not have his last name. When I was a teenager, he found me. Now he loves me a lot, and wants to make up for lost time. We found out that we are very similar. Now we love each other. I am a good girl and he is proud of me. I will follow his steps and I will be just like him in a few years.
The main question here is: How can you refute a rumor when there is so much evidence that supports the rumor?
There are some facts that can demonstrate that Mr.X is not my real daddy.
I will not explain everything, but there is a small fact people usually forget. Mr.X and Mommy met when mommy was a teenager. About 14-15 years old. She met my dad and I was born when she was on her 20’s. But people mix up the time and the situations.
There are several “facts” that can show that Mr.X is my real daddy.
*The funniest thing here is that i really look like Mr.X. If you see my dad’s picture, Mr.X’s pictures, and my pictures, I look more similar to Mr.X.I look more similar to him, than his own children. In real life I look like my father, but people only see the pictures. In pictures, I look like Mr. X! This is easy to explain, my mom likes the same kind of man. She likes a certain kind of hair, of eyes, skin color etc. I really wish I could show you some pictures. But I can’t. Too bad, this is the funniest fact and you can’t see it.
*I need to wear glasses. My dad is known as “eagle eye”, because he can see whatever from far away. Mr. X needs to wear glasses. I think it is very common to wear glasses. So it is only a coincidence.
*My dad grew up in a small town, so he is used to walk a lot, have outdoor activities, and he likes animals. I grew up in the downtown of my city. Mr.X grew up in the same downtown as me. Mr.X and I are very nerdy. We like to read, write, do researches about things we feel interest and we enjoy the same kind of things! I think it is more cultural than genetic. We went to the same schools, the same streets, the same stores; therefore we had the same activities… Therefore we have the same interests.
*I work at a lawyer’s office. Due to my personality, in my job, I am in charge of “difficult clients”. It means those clients who are too picky and get angry easily. I am very responsible and I do exactly what they want. I rarely do a mistake. I don’t talk to them by phone, I go to their office, I take notes and the next day I come back with the papers. When somebody else makes a mistake, and the client wants to leave, usually I am the one who gets the client back.
One of those client’s office was in a very famous building. It is the same building Mr.X works. I had to visit that client every 2 weeks. So people think that I went to visit Mr.X, or even that I went to ask him for money!! It is so unfair. I was working hard and people think that I was a “junior” who only goes to daddy’s office and asks for money T.T
When an accident can help support the rumor:
At some point, that rumor became funny for me and my mom. We even make jokes about it. You know, when you put a nickname on someone and you use it a lot, and then you get too used to it that you forget about it and use it when you shouldn’t… Well as a joke I used to call Mr. X “Daddy” (In English). I used to talk about him as a “Junior”.
What does it mean? In Mexico calling someone a “Junior” has a pejorative meaning. When people talk about a junior, usually they mean a son of a rich and famous person.. That son usually is stupid, proud, bossy, denigrating and immoral. People think about someone who uses drugs, who thinks that having a car accident is funny and doesn’t think about going to school or getting a job, they have enough money to party every night until they are 50 years old, and they will always get unlimited money from their parents. Every time they have a car accident or get in trouble, they only say “Oh, let me call my daddy” (this a famous phrase that people hates). They call daddy, and daddy uses his “contacts” or money to help his son/daughter… the junior doesn’t learn a lesson and do the same thing again and again.
That kind of “junior” has a special way to talk, their own accent, so they can recognize each other. They feel special when they use it, but the reality is average people hate them and hate their accent. They feel so cool to talk in English (but usually they don’t speak English), they lie a lot and say they grew up in the United States, or they when to school in Paris… Things like that. So they mix up languages, because they don’t want to feel like Mexicans, they want to feel like Europeans.
All of them have the same personality, the same accent; the same phrases… and the rest of the people make fun of them, even me. So when I talk about Mr. X, I call him “Daddy” and use their accent, as a joke.
But sometimes I forget that I am in front of somebody else. Mr. X wasn’t on tv for a couple of years. One day, i was looking at some tv, and Mr. X was there. My mom was on my side and I said: “Mom look! Is daddy, he is back on the tv!!”. Then I realized that there was somebody else looking at us…
Bothering side effects:
Everybody knows how awful is to have a famous father. You are “the shadow of your parents”. If you have more talent than your father, people will not recognize it. Some parents feel jealous of their son’s talent. (the same problem with couples and the “professional jealousy”). If the son never becomes more famous than his father, it would be bad too. People will always compare their work and their popularity.
Well it looks like having a fake daddy doesn’t help you to take advantage over others, or to have “contacts”, but people will compare your work for sure, or they will even minimize your own achievements.
Man: Where did you studied before?
Me: At XXXX school.
Man: Oh that’s a good school. The same school your dad went. I assume it was easy for you to join that school as his daughter…
Me: No! I went to that school due to my good notes.
Man: Yeah, you are a good student, but it is too hard to join it. I am sure he helped you. He has the contacts.
Me: No! I got the first place on the test! I was accepted at 3 different schools and I chose that one.
Man: Yeah, I am sure they told you that. Hahahaha.
Me: It was due my hard work!!! D=
Person: You are a very good writer. This is a beautiful work…
Me: Thank you =D
Person: Obviously you have the talent running in your veins. This is obviously your father’s talent. The way you two write… it’s like reading him… I am impressed. If you work harder, you will be as good as him soon.
Me: No! This is my own talent! D=
Friend: You don’t go to parties, you don’t have a boyfriend, you don’t go hang out with coworkers or classmates.. what do you do?
Me: Nothing! I told you, I have less social life than a “narco’s daughter” LOL
Friend: (whispering) Are you serious? Does it mean that your father is…. A narco???
Me: Wait, What? NO! I didn’t mean that!! I was joking!!
Friend: (Whispering in a lower voice) Come on, you can tell me. That’s how you got that house right?
Me: Nooooo!!! He is not a narco. I am not his daughter. We have this house thanks to my mom’s hardworking. She worked her whole life for this house… My house is not that big… O.o
It is fun when people don’t know anything about you, but they make up stories. I don’t like people, I don’t talk to people. I like to be at home. I don’t like to see a neighbor and talk about rumors for a couple of hours. I don’t like to visit friends and stay at their homes the whole afternoon. I don’t like troubles, so I try not to get in trouble. But people usually think that I don’t talk to them because “daddy” gets angry. For them, I can’t take my own decisions. For them I am like a princess, hidden in a castle. Nobody can talk to me, nobody can see me. Don’t try to get me, or daddy will send his dragons to kill you!!!
It is funny, because my dad (the real one), was never a jealous father. Once he told me: “You are a smart girl, and I trust your decisions. If you have a boyfriend, or even get married, you don’t need to ask for my approval. I trust you, and if you love someone and you think he is the best man for you… you may be right. I am fine with it. It is your life, your decision and your wish. I would never take that decision for you. If he makes you happy, then he is the right man for you, even if I can’t understand it. I will support you in any decision you take.”
I live in a beautiful freedom, but people think exactly the opposite. Now my attitude is like “You all can think whatever you want. I don’t care”.
The next point is that people think I am interested I Mr. X’s life. So everything happens to him, they tell me!
Person: Hey! Did you hear the news? Mr. X got banned from tv last night. They say he got in a huge trouble this time… He is taking too many risks, lately. Somebody should talk to him. I mean, his show is very interesting but it is dangerous to talk about certain things…
Person: Sometimes we are very selfish… I mean.. What’s going on with his family? If I was close to him, I would say “Hey, Mr.X, calm down. Maybe you should retire yourself from tv for a couple of years. Take it easy. It doesn’t matter if you don’t earn as much money as you do now, but I care about you. I prefer to have less money if you are safe, because i love you”. Well, you know, it is hard not to be selfish when we get money easily.
Person: Did you hear? Mrs. K got fired from the tv show.
Me: Aww she was so good.
Person: Why did they fire her?
Me: I don’t know, you are the one telling the story lol.
Person: Come on. You know how this works. You know why they fire people even if they are doing a good job. Who got angry at her?
Me: I don’t know.
Person: Yes, You know who’s the puppeteer in the tv. *winks*
Me: I don’t!!!
Person: Come on, lend me some money.
Me: I can’t lend you money… I need that money.
Person: Come on, you have enough for you and your family, you only have to ask your father for the money and he will give you a lot.
Me: He is not my dad!!
Friend: Yeah, sure. Hahaha. How can you live without working? That’s because of his money…
Me: I work… my mom works… we pay our own bills D=
Friend: Come on! He gave you enough money to study in a private school in another country.
Me: Private school? What are you talking about?
Family member: You are wasting your time. You have to work harder.
Family Member: At your age your dad was already appearing on T.V. shows.
Me: At my age my dad was living on a small town… ¬.¬
Family Member: You are wasting lots of opportunities. Don’t be too proud. Go to your dad and ask him for some job. You will be working on T.V. soon. But you have to stop wasting your time. How do you expect to become rich and famous if you are not working on it? Just because he is your father, doesn’t mean that you will get everything so easy. You still have to work.
Me: He is not my father. I don’t want to be rich. I don’t want to be famous. Stop it! 😥
Situation 8. When rumors mix up:
Person: You don’t have to hate men so much. I mean… I understand your viewpoint, after what your father did to you… I don’t think you are a real lesbian, it’s just because you can’t trust men. But hiding in your bedroom with some drugs will not help you to get over it.
Person: You know… he doesn’t want to admit he is your father, and you have to use your mom’s last name, because you did not receive your father’s last name…
Me: Stop! Stop! Stop! You are talking non sense… I use my dad’s last name…. Why do you say all those things?
Person: You don’t have to hide it anymore. It is very polite from you to hide your anger towards him. But we know that he hurt you a lot, and you try to forget everything using drugs. Inside of your heart, you want men to pay for your father….
Me: Hmmm… I give up…
I think I am soo good girl that nobody can believe it. They say I am on drugs when I have never used drugs, even cigarettes. I have never been drunk. And I really, really hate relationships with coworkers. So at my job men flirt with me and I say no… therefore I am lesbian.
Once I went to school feeling sick. I threw up at lunch and went back home earlier. The next day, the counselor called me to his office and asked me if I had bulimia problems.
Situation 9. When you expect people to forget about the rumor and instead of disappearing, it gets bigger:
When I was a kid, I had a “boyfriend”, you know, those boyfriends when you are a little kid and you are innocent and play together at school. We were very good friends until I moved to another country. When I came back to Mexico, I found him while walking on the downtown. He told me about his girlfriend and I told him about my boyfriend. We were very good friends again. He was looking at me in a really weird way and suddenly he told me:
“You know I always loved you. Even if we were kids I really loved you. It was real love. Now I realized that when you went away I missed you so much. I have a girlfriend, I was so sure that I loved her. But now I see you and I doubt. Please don’t misunderstand me. The last time I saw you, you were still a child. Now you are a woman and somehow, you look exactly like my girlfriend. I think I was looking for someone just like you.”
I thought it was a trap.. or he was joking, so I ignored it. We did not talk again for weeks. One day, he called me back and said:
Boy: I want to introduce you to my girlfriend.
Me: Why? Hahaha
Boy: I have been thinking about it. You look like her, your voice is similar, everything. It is too shocking for me that I had to explain it to her. But the most shocking fact is that you 2 have the same personality. And I was wondering… How was that possible? So I want you to meet because here is something else. You are the same age, and you are an only child. Maybe you are adopted or something.
Me: I am not adopted. I am sure. Maybe she is adopted!! Hahaha.
Boy: No. She is not adopted. She looks like her uncle. Do you know her uncle? The man who works at the TV show… Mr. X. Do you know him? He is a nice man. I mean, you see him on tv and you don’t expect him to be so cool with average people. Do you know who I am talking about?
Me: hmmm… I think so…
Boy: Yes, the man with glasses, he is about my height and we have the same hairstyle…
Me: Hahaha you are not that tall. Don’t lie.
Boy: How do you know if he is tall or not? Everybody looks tall on TV….You haven’t meet him face to face… Wait… Wait.. WAIT!!!! You look like my girlfriend, because you look like him!!
Me: Omg… not you….
Boy: *almost crying*OMG I loved you so much that I wanted some girl similar to you. And I found your cousin!! OMG!!! This is so wrong… I did not know! I swear it! I did not want to be with your cousin! I am so sorry. I did now know….
Me: Calm down. She is not my cousin.
Boy: Yes she is!!! OMG!!! He has been such a good man to me. If he knows this, he will hate me. But I did know know!!!
Me. Listen to me. He.. is.. not.. my.. father!!! Relax… you are hyperventilating…
Boy: But you 2 are too similar. You have the same hair, the same eyes, and the same personality!!!
Me: It means that you like that kind of girl… If I show you the boys I’ve liked before, you all look very similar.
Boy: NO! That’s not true… I have seen your boyfriend’s pictures, and we are very different.
Me: Hmmm… Calm down… Relax and think about it a little bit. Do you remember my dad? Do you remember my cousins? You know my whole family. Do you remember their faces?
Boy: Yes… and you look like Mr. X!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I have to talk to my girlfriend. She will break up with me. We have been together for years!! She will break up with me!!! Mr. X has been such a nice person to me and he will feel betrayed. He is like a father to me.
Me: There is no reason for him to feel betrayed. There is no reason to make all that drama, because he is not my father. You shouldn’t assume things so easily. You may get people in trouble. It may hurt his family.
Boy: He is alone…
Me: However. It is dangerous.
Boy: He is alone… Once he was talking about a love he can’t forget… He was in love with your mom!!! Did he fall in love with your mom? Were they a couple?
Me: Hmmm… no…
Boy: You are lying!!! I know you very well… You are lying!!!! OMG they were a couple!! OMG it is true… it is true!! Wait. I will call my girlfriend right now… you 2 have to talk now. You are family and you don’t know each other… You have to meet each other.
Boy: The phone is ringing… just wait… OMG OMG OMG.
Now I am very careful when I hear a rumor about somebody else. I make fun of everything or I don’t care. I don’t believe it at first. At the end, nobody knows the truth, unless people involved in the rumor.